Some verbal spillage in writing
Starting with the infinitely variable run-off out of my brain and through this keyboard, I aim to allow the flow to splash and cascade without cease while interrupting any impulse to stifle or edit or limit the blather. Blather, as in a blathering idiot. Spilling forth, no hesitation, and whatever self-loathing or awkwardness results as it happens, that too is allowed.
First Sunday of the run
Today is Mother’s Day, and the first Sunday of this run. The matinee starts at 1:00pm, so I have to get moving. My back is giving me trouble, but I feel pretty rested. More to come. Back home now, back is happier. DH’s memorial gathering was today also. I plan to watch it now while I unwind before bed. K1 conducted the matinee today.. that was nice. I was able to relax a bit and I ploayed better as a resultt. There’s no telling what can happen when you go into a performance. Nerves and mind, ears, other folks; so many unpredictable factors.
Some thoughts about my inner experience.
How do I protect myself? This may be a question we all should be asking ourselves. I feel most at ease when I am either alone, or when I don’t feel obliged to interact with others. Is this because I believe that it is inherently risky to engage? Or does this reflect a disconnection with my sense of agency.. the fact that I can always exercise my freedom to express my limits, my wishes, my preferences, and still be kind to others.
Playing the Sound of Music at the Pantages Theater
Today marks the beginning of the first weekend of the run. It will be the fourth performance for us. Last night I had the pleasure of meeting Lee Sklar, who I learned is a fan of musical theater. He came to edge of the pit and we talked about the show, about the instrumentation (a particularly large ensemble by today’s standards). That was a neat bonus.. to meet a living legend, and also to play the show knowing he was in the audience. Also in attendence were my friend Andres and his mother, whose spounse has recently passed away. I plan to go hava visit with her in the coming weeks.
In the beginning…
Letting the brain begin to purge without editing, comfort comes only with practice. I am listening to PS in S, which I have been doing a lot. I have been in a real struggle to believe in my own sensibilities around regulation and saying no. I know myself well enough to understand that I have choice, and I have voice. I can say no and I don’t have to explain it. We each get to decide how to be who we are and ask for what we want. How others respond to us is not ours to control. I do trust in myself and my ability to love myself.
Howdy! This is an example blog post that shows several types of HTML content supported in this theme.
Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Aenean eu leo quam. Pellentesque ornare sem lacinia quam venenatis vestibulum. Sed posuere consectetur est at lobortis. Cras mattis consectetur purus sit amet fermentum.
